I feel empowered today. still, seven hours after therapy. yes! victory. it's an odd feeling for me. I feel like life has been consuming me, overwhelming me, pressuring me, confusing me, and I've just been trying to get through it. it's pretty crappy to live this way, let's be honest.
but today is different. perhaps I'm in touch with the strength that people keep telling me I have. perhaps I'm not as afraid of having power as I have been before (I've been talking a lot about power these days, can you tell?).
it's frustrating to think that this feeling probably won't last. tomorrow I may wake up and feel back in the fight, back in the underdog position who has to have someone else validate whatever it is I'm experiencing. but such is life. if I'm feeling this way today it means progress has been made. it means that I'm on a good journey and am finding myself.
it feels good in this moment to say that I have power. that I can say or not say whatever it is that I'm thinking. I have power to choose my relationships, even to choose what my role will or won't be in them. that feels good as well.
do you know what else feels good? that I have finished my 11 page paper for old testament on 1 samuel 27. yeeeeeeeeeeees!! 1st year of grad school = almost done. boom. i've got the power.
another sidenote: currently one of my new roommates is dancing to backstreet boys' "larger than life." I am laughing.
You ARE powerful!! But apparently you have people telling you that a lot and you just need to believe it. :)
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't you dancing with your roommate?? Dance par-tay!!!
This makes me unbelievably happy!!
ReplyDelete