beautiful people

I miss these people...
at times I really loved them, other times all I wanted was some space.


what to pack? from cori smith on Vimeo.

I've been home from my trip for a year now, and I remember it all too well. the loneliness, the depression, the purposelessness I felt almost immediately after returning home. what was I to do with myself? where was I to go? who were my friends?

I still don't really know what to do about this trip that I was on.

how do you go about processing 11 months of insanity,

that was so far from reality and yet simultaneously was nothing but real?

what do I do about the fact that I lived with these people, and these people only, 

for 11 months, and now am separated from them? but they are the only ones

who experienced the craziness alongside of me. they're the only ones who know.

how do I live, how do I be

in this world

because of what I have seen and experienced?

I really have no idea.

but I do know that I am moving toward something good,

something that is more of my real, genuine self.

I lack the words for this process - really I do.

the more I try to explain it to people

the less the words feel true.

but this something is happening within me,

and it needs nurturing and care.

grace. love.

and then more & more - grace. love.

[repeat.]

may this something continue

always. forever.

Untitled from amanda thompson on Vimeo.

An Ode to I-Squad from Hannah Olsen on Vimeo.